there was a trapeze. enough said
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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