Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
