what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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