whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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