Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
