i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
