How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
