...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
