my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
