I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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