We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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