apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize