$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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