so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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