i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
