it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
