I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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