Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
