Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A bitchslap is in order.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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