I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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