just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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