Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dignity is for republicans.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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