It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
tell me about the eggs
Randomize