Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
