i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
