Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
