I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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