remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
