I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
