I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
