He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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