I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
