Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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