she takes plan B like it's going out of style
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
