Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
