Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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