but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
