Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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