He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
