Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
