I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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