i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
