I think i peed on brittanys purse
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
