Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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