The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
