If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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