spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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