I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
