He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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