the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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