you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i now understand why vodka
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
