he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
