1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize