That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
