eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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