May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize