I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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